Why I don't write SI's! BLAH!
by Invader Anonymous
Summary: This is why I don't write SIs...but if you wanna be in it leave a review! WOO!
1. Default Chapter

**Disclaimer**:  Mirfle!  I had so much fun writing my last spontaneous fanfic…here's another one that makes just a trifle more sense!  YAY!  NOT REALLY!  It's an SI…whooo!  MAH FIRST ONE!  EEP!  Be afraid…VERY AFRAID!  MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!  And this is MEEEEE, not mah character…MEEEEE!  Not to be confuzled with mah character…Oh ya, I do not own Invader Zim, nor do I own Jhonen Vasquez (however kewl that would be })

Introduction: 

            Inside the classroom, children sat, chattering quickly to each other.  All but two people added to the din of the classroom: Dib and Zim.  They sat quietly, thinking of how each would doom the other.  The teacher had not shown up for a complete hour, so the classroom was littered with paper airplanes and spitballs.  Suddenly, a girl dressed in a short red kilt with black stockings, large-knee high black army boots, and a black button-down shirt skids in through the doorway.  A large pentagram hangs from her neck; it is silver with blue studs.  She is about 5'5 with shoulder length brown, layered hair.  Her gray eyes sparkle menacingly from her pale face.

**Invader Anonymous:**  Hello class!  *giggle*  Since your teacher isn't here…I'M SUBBING FOR HER!

**Zita:**  But you're like…fifteen!

**Invader Anonymous:**  **blinks** …Your point? 

**Brian:**  And how'd you know our teacher wasn't here?  

**Invader Anonymous:**  BECAUSE I'M THE ONE WRITING THE STORY!

            The class sat in silence and stared for a moment, wondering where this crazy girl had come from.  Invader Anonymous looked around the classroom, suddenly recognizing all of the students.  

****

**Invader Anonymous:**  Wait a minute…this wasn't the class I was supposed to sub for…come to think of it…this isn't even my skool…or my dimension…OMG!  You're…you're…you're **points at Zim with mouth hanging wide open**

**Dib:**  An alien?!  **he jumps up excitedly**  Are you a professional paranormal investigator?  THIS IS GREAT!  **points to the class and shrieks** I TOLD YOU SO!  ZIM IS AN ALIEEEEN!  AN ALIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEN!!!!!

**Invader Anonymous:**  **looks at Dib with an odd look on her face**  Well…that wasn't exactly what I was going to say, Dib!  I was going to say; ZIM!  YOU'RE ZIM!  **points and jumps up and down excitedly**  I LOVE YOU ZIMMY!

            The entire classroom shrinks back in their seats, Dib stands there with a dumbfounded look on his face.  Zim blinks.

**Zim and Dib:**  Ummmmm…

            Invader Anonymous's eyes grow as large as her head.  She is still hopping up and down excitedly.  

**Invader Anonymous:**  I'VE ALWAYS DREAMED OF MEETING YOU!  THIS IS TOO MUCH TOO RESIST!  I HAVE HEAD EXPLODEY!

            Zim and Dib just look wide-eyed at the lunatic.  Torque Smackey's head explodes.  The rest of the class slides out of the desks and leap out the windows shrieking.  Zim raises an invisible eyebrow.

**Zim:**  Head explodey?

**Invader Anonymous:**…Nevermind.  O!O!  Howzabout you two **she looks back and forth from Zim to Dib**, come back to my house!  I could invite some friends…

            She looks back and forth from the two, who are trying to find a way to escape.  Invader Anonymous tries to think of a way to keep the two from running away and screaming…

**Invader Anonymous:**  Um…we could watch Mysterious Mysteries and tell the secrets of dooming planet Earth!

**Dib:**  Oo!  It's the new episode on Bigfoot tonight!

**Invader Anonymous:**  I've got a big screen T.V…**convincing voice**

**Dib:**  SURE!

**Zim:**  **was thinking**  The secrets…to dooming the planet…heh.  THE ALMIGHTY ZIM will grace you with his presence tonight!

**Invader Anonymous:**  Great!  See you tonight, here's my address.  **she scribbled it down on their hands quickly with a bright blue gel pen**  I'll go invite more peoples!  See you guys at 7:00 'o clock sharp!

Wow…that sucked.  LOL!  Anyways, I hope it'll get better.  AND I NEED TO INVITE PEOPLES!  So if you wanna be in it, either e-mail me at Redstreak11@hotmail.com or leave a review with your description, how you act, what you wear, etc!  WOOT!  Funtimes.  And if you have a crush or worship one of the characters, say that too!  WHEE!  **dances around in circles like a loony**


	2. The party

**Disclaimer:**  WHOO!  I gots volunteers! Thanks everyone who's volunteered so far! I'm still accepting more.  And I have a secret mission o.O  Details to be filled in later.  Heh…MUAHAHAHAHA.  *coff*  Anyways...Ah'm gonna run upstairs and get me a cappucino afore I start da storeeee.  All Zim characters, JtHM, and Squee belong to Jhonen Vasquez.  I however, belong too me.  Unless you give me lots of money…then you can say you own me if you give me your money.  Everyone else belongs to themselves.  ^_^

**Da Party:**

            Invader Anonymous sat questioningly by the phone, staring blankly at it.  She blinked and thought for a moment.

Invader Anonymous:  Who am I going to invite?  Who would truly love to meet Zim and Dib…wait a minute…WHO DO I KNOW IN THIS DIMENSION?!  

            She shrieked and fell off the chair she was sitting on.  She sat there lying on the ground, trying to conjure a way to find people she could invite.  She pushed herself up and raised an eyebrow at the phone.  Then she narrowed her eyes at the machine in question.

Invader Anonymous:  Oh, so you're just going to sit there and smirk at me, are you?!  Hmph, stupid…PHONE!  I don't need you! **Turns back to the phone and crosses arms huffily; a wide grin spreads across her face as she spies a large mallet lying on the floor a few feet away**

            Invader Anonymous eyed the phone over her shoulder, then pounced on the mallet.  She spun around with the mallet in her hands and raised it, screaming insanely at the phone.

            Invader Anonymous:  Mock me, shall you?!  WELL I'LL TEACH YOU!

            Phone:…*RING!RING!* 

            Invader Anonymous:  **drops the mallet and blinks stupidly**  Sweet angry Jeezus…it's…the phone!  **picks it up**  Wet Jimmy's Gourmet Assmeats.  Do this be  pick up or delivery? 

            Voice on the phone: …Who the hell is this?  I was trying to call Dib…

            Invader Anonymous:  You're the one who called me…shouldn't you be telling ME who YOU are?  

            Voice:  Um…this is Daz…

            Invader Anonymous:  **thinks to herself: Why does that name sound so familiar?**  …Um…yes…Daz…who were you trying to call again?

            Daz:  Well I was trying to call Dib…but I got you instead.  Whoever you are…

            Invader Anonymous:  Dib…Waitaminute!  I thought Dib had no friends in his skool…why were you calling him?

            Daz:  I am not from his skool!  And who is this?!

            Invader Anonymous:  Who are you?!  Wait…I already asked you that…um…Who am I?!

            Daz:  YES!  Who are you?!  **Pur can be heard in the background:  Master?  Who is that?**

            Invader Anonymous:  WHO AM I?!  Wait…lemme check **runs to the bathroom, pulls back bangs to reveal her name tattooed backwards across her forhead, reads it in the mirror; runs back to the phone**  I'm Invader Anonymous!

            Daz:…

            Invader Anonymous:…

            Daz:…

            Invader Anonymous:…

            Daz:…

            Invader Anonymous:…Wait…your name is Daz, right?  Like…the Daz from FF.NET?

            Daz:  Yes…that's me…who's this?

            Invader Anonymous:  I JUST TOLD YOU!  Invader Anonymous!

            Daz:  …OH!  The one from FF.NET?

            Invader Anonymous:  Yes.  Yes I am.  

            The two fanfiction writers are quiet for a moment.  Invader Anonymous suddenly waves.

            Invader Anonymous:  HIIIIIIII!  O!OO!  I'm havin' a party an' Dib an' Zim are comin'!  You wanna come?  And do you know where I can contact summore FF.NET writers, I'm sure they'd love to come too!  It's at seven.  

            Daz:  Sure, I'll come!  I'll invite some people.  Just press the buttons on your phone that have their penname on them and it'll automatically dial to them.  **Pur once more in the background:  How did she get your phone?**  I will see you then!  Byebye!

            They hang up.  Invader Anonymous puts down the phone.  She looks at the buttons which read: Invader Kim, K'Rin, PureVENOM, Invader Bast, and Maniacal Dragon.  (A.N.  MOOOOO)

~~~~~Later That Evening, at 6:53 P.M.~~~~~

            Invader Anonymous lay on the couch, staring up at the ceiling.  She was counting the number of cockroaches that had run across since she invited everyone.  Good parties are always ruined by cockroaches.  They drop from the ceiling into the food, which was laid out on a long banquet table.  

            She sat up and looked at all of the exquisite food that lay before her and stuck out her tongue.  

            Invader Anonymous:  Ugh…only god knows how many cockroaches have lost their grip on my slippery ceiling and plummeted to their heaven by landing in that food *twitch*.  Not a pleasant thought…

            The doorbell rang and she jumped off the couch.  WHOO!  PEOPLE!  She flung open the door, and standing there was a female Irken with blue eyes.  Invader Anonymous looked up at the taller being.  Her antennae curled back and she looked at Invader Anonymous.

            Invader Anonymous:  *slowly* Hello…

            Enol:  Hello…I'm Enol.  Daz said there is a party here tonight?

            Invader Anonymous:  OH!  Ya, I forgot she was inviting people.  Come right in.  Um, the foods over there, people will be coming shortly.  **She cringed slightly as Enol helped herself to the food and thought to herself:  Oh well, cockroaches are protein…**

            The Doorbell rings again.  Invader Anonymous blinks, for the door is still open and she is standing there.  

            Invader Anonymous:  You didn't have to ring the doorbell…

            And incrediably bouncey female Irken (also with blue eyes) stands there.

            Saturnia:  MEATLOAF!

            Invader Anonymous just stares.  She looks at her guest list (which was MAGICALLY transported into her very hands).

            Invader Anonymous:  Um…you must be Saturnia.  Come one in.

            Saturnia:  **happily skips in to the food table and waves hyperly at Enol**  Dogs say woof!

            Enol:  **blinks and slowly edges away**

            Invader Anonymous just leaves the door open and the guests file in.  She shuffles over to the stereo system and turns on the radio.  It's set to 99X, and if anyone messes with it, they will be shocked to death by the radio.  She sets up the TV to turn on and shut the radio off when Mysterious Mysteries comes on.  Suddenly loud screams pierce the air.  Invader Anonymous's eye twitches and she slowly turns around to see a group of girls pouncing on Zim as he is entering the doorway.

            Zim:  AHH!  HELP ME!!  They are going to eat my delicious insides!  **he shrieks**

            Saturnia has one of Zim's arms, Enol has the other.  A girl with a T-shirt and dark jeans, about the age of 15, is wrapped around Zim's head, smiling broadly.  PureVENOM does not seem to notice Zim is turning from his natural green to purple.  A twelve year old girl is poking Zim in the back, bugging him to let her borrow his Voot Cruiser some time.  

            Irken Insane:  C'mon Zim!  LEMME BORROW IT!

            Zim:  Can't breathe *choke*…need…air…*gasp*…

            Most of the guests are here.  GIR skipped in after Zim, and is break dancing in the middle of the floor.  Pur joins him, both robots spinning dizzily.  Saturnia is now attempting to break dance, but is only succeeding in sliding on the hard wood floors in her socks.  A girl with no common sense, who is about 5'6 is flipping through a large hardback book by Steven King.  Her robot bounces up to her. 

Chum-Chum: Should you be here?  Shouldn't you be doing homework?

Invader Kim:  Oh hush, I'm reading!

The only people missing are Dib and Gaz.

A fifteen year old girl with blond hair and blue eyes looks around at the party.  The noise level seems to instantly drop, to the point where no one is talking, just standing there staring blankly at the floor.

            K'Rin:  **the entire party is quiet except for the music**…Bananas have mystical powers donchya know.  

            A tall humanoid creature lurks out of the shadows.  Her blue skin glints under her cloak.  (A.N.  You're wearing a cloak cuz I dunno what you wear ^^;;)

            Reaver:  Do bananas speak French?  I don't think so…

            K'Rin:  BUT THEY ARE MAGICAL!  **she wiggles her fingers as to make a point**

            Zimmy Kid:  **bounces up and down, her trenchcoaty thing waving up and down with her**  Oh!  Tell us more, tell us more!

            Irken Insane:  Like did he have a car?

            A girl around the height of 5'8 with long wavy light brown hair, big grey eyes, black clothing that is purdy and poofy with black boots that have buckles hops into the conversation.

Maniacal Dragon:  What do bananas have to do with having a car?  THAT IS UTTER RIDICULOUSNESS!  (A.N. is that a word?)

            Invader Bast:  Maybe that's their super power…to drive cars!

            PureVENOM:  They don't have super powers!  **she is still clutching to Zim's head for dear life, while Zim is staggering around**

            Irken Insane:  I bet a banana could fly a voot cruiser!

            Saturnia: Bananas can't do anything!  An apple could kick a banana's ass any day!

            They all turn their attention to the fruit basket on the food table.  A girl standing next to Maniacal Dragon is carrying a flamethrower that has the words Flamey Jr enscribed in silver on the side.  She's much shorter than her friend, and is wearing a trenchcoat  (A.N. isn't everybody?).

            Aliet Faslami:  **is having fun lighting the fruit bowl on fire with her blow torch; she feels all eyes on her and turns around**  Oh…did you want to use the fruit?  Umm…**she hands a charred banana and an apple to K'Rin**  There you go.  **She goes back to setting various things on fire while Invader Anonymous runs around with a fire extinguisher, preventing her house from catching fire**

            A girl wearing a sleeveless PVC trenchcoat, black sailor skirt, and fishnet stockings with a Z? shirt peers behind her glasses.  The entire party, except for GIR who is breaking things with Invader Anonymous chasing him with a broom, is watching K'Rin, who has the fruits.

            Invader Bast:  Well, since the apple and the orange are RUINED **she glances to Aliet** we should..um…I don't know.  What should we do?

            Daz joins the party out of nowhere:  I say we have gerbil races!  **Two gerbils are produced from her trenchcoat pockets and she holds them up by their tails**

            A girl who was staying out of the entire conversation looks up.  Her green eyes focus on the gerbils.

            Flipside:  O!  A game?  Games are fun **she smiles**

            Invader Kim joins the melee:  Oo…Gerbil races.  Those sound fun!  

            Invader Anonymous comes back, panting and leaning on the broom.  GIR is nowhere to be seen.  Zim is peering under the couch, searching for his robot.  Suddenly, as if in a trance, the entire party (except for Zim who is looking for GIR, and Daz who already has the gerbils out) pulls two Gerbils out of their pockets.

            Zim looks up from the couch and sees the rodents:  AIEEEEE!  **staggers back against the wall and shrinks down**  Evil…four-legged monsters!  They are going to eat my sweet sweet brain candy! ((10 points if you know what Brain Candy is from!(and you get to do the secret mission if you're not already in it!)))

            Zim twitches and holds his legs to his chest.  All of the Zim fans say AWWWWWWWW…Maniacal Dragon smiles evily and steps close to Zim.

            Maniacal Dragon:  Oh yes…they will nibble off your eyeballs and eat out your entrails!  **laughs maliciously**

            Zim:  AIEEEEE!  **pulls out a laser and points it at Maniacal Dragon, who drops the Gerbils, who run up Zim's suit**…AHHHHH!  THEY TICKLE!  THEY ARE GOING TO TICKLE ME TO DEATH THE FILTHY DISGUSTING RODENTS!  **he hops up and down frantically while half of the party laughs, the other half laughs too**

            Aliet:  Hey, where's Mr. Big-Head?  I thought him and his Zombie-Slave sister were coming too?  **pats her flamethrower fondly**

            All Dib lovers glare at Aliet.  All of the gerbils have conveniently disappeared.  Either that or they are all up Zim's suit now, for he is jumping and screeching, almost hitting the cockroaches on the ceiling.

            Invader Bast:  **was looking out the window**  Hey…I think someone's coming…

            Five figures walk up the sidewalk, cloaked in darkness.  Two are incrediably tall and skinny, though one is taller and skinnier than the other.  It starts to rain outside, thunder crashes and lightning lights up the sky.  They figures reach the doorway and one kicks it open.  They still can't be seen, one hands Bast-Chan a sheet of paper, they turn and leave.

            The party is eerily silent, and Invader Bast looks down at the sheet of paper.  She turns white and falls over.  Flipside raises an eyebrow and takes the note from her and reads it out-loud.

            Flipside:  "Attention:  Dib and Gaz will not be coming to your party tonight.  Nor will they be going anywhere ever again.  MUAHAHAHAH*coff*-haha…Sorry.  If you want your friends back, drop off the robots at house 776."

WHEE!  OMG THAT WAS SO FUCKING HARD!  **cries**  Heh…didn't expect that…DID YOU?!  MUAHAHA.  Anyways…there's a cliffhangerthingy for ya!  Heehee!  If someone is not happy with how they are potrayed…just tell me and I'll fix it.  ^_^  The secret mission…first two people to e-mail me (if you e-mail me with the answer to the quizzy thing about Brain Candy, you get a bigger part) get to be the evil cloaky ppl.  The other three are already decided.  Cuz.  MUAHAHA.  Anyways, who liked it?!  I'm NOT going back and underlining all the names…so you can live with it!  ^^;;  Byebyes fer now.  I'm still accepting ppls to come, but you'll most likely have small cameo appearences.  These are the main ppls.  Byebyes.


End file.
